"I always quietly hired child-free women. Childfree women in my experience are more mature. They work harder and more effiiciently. If they work overtime, it's because the project calls for it, not because they used their contracted employment time badly.
"Child free women are better at dealing with and functioning within adult culture. They don't get sick as often. They are less arrogant/sure that they are right and everyone else is wrong. They are less likely to "talk down" to others. They aren't constantly demanding that others change their schedules at their whim. They are more settled in their personal and private lives (the married ones tend to have stellar marriages/partnerships based on egalitarian principles and solid boundaries). They don't tend to pollute the workplace with romantic dramas. When they take time off for personal matters (a parent with Alzheimer's, a friend dying of cancer), they're usually catching up on work in the evenings, or during their sleepless hours, because their work is, for them, a source of creative energy. They do not assume that their employer owes them anything."
Wow. Isn't hiring only child-free women discrimination or something? And yet, this is exactly the mentality that I was educated with in high-school/college. That women with kids screwed up somehow, were less mature, were just big pains in the ass bringing in more needless whelps onto the planet and screwing up the ecosystem. As the commenter goes on to say:
"Hard working child free women STILL manage to come out on top wagewise. All the while being sneered at because they're not doing the thing they were SUPPOSED to be doing--adding more humans to the planet, rather than making the planet a better place to be.""Adding more humans to the planet" in this scenario is definitely not seen as "making the planet a better place to be." But imagine if it was seen that way.
That's pretty funny, as both of my bosses are married with with at least one child...and they are two of the most centered, drama-free people I've ever worked with.
ReplyDeleteAt past jobs, it was always the SINGLE people who were causing the drama.
In correlation with what Hysan says above, people's level of responsibility in the workplace isn't necessarily related to having kids or not, but depends more on the individual.
ReplyDeleteI am a proud Childfree woman and in my workplace, there are several mommies that talk EVERY morning about their kids (over the cube walls which gets to be VERY annoying) and I often hear them on the phone talking about birthday parties, sick kids, doctor visits, school stuff etc. Sometimes they have to leave early to take care of family stuff.
This isn't to say that childfree women (or men) can't find other things to do on the clock to distract them from the task at hand. I would venture to say that childfree people and parents probably dislike their jobs the same and would rather be doing other things! But, such is the working world... you have to work to get money so you can do the things you want to do when you aren't working (besides making ends meet).
As a childfree woman, I am also a feminist and have to admit that there is a larger number of women that choose to have children than the number that remain childfree, so of course, I'm happy for the advancements that have been made to allow mothers (and fathers) more family benefits. Now... if only this maternity/paternity leave were somehow extended to those of us who don't give birth but could also use the 'time off'... ;)
I am a childfree woman and though no group can (or should) be stereotyped modern mothers (defined as those currently in their 50s and younger) are too often just like the person who said she hired only child-free described -- they take the attitude of the creepy old t-shirt that "if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy" and have tried to make that come true. Too often no one (including bosses) speaks up and makes them do their jobs, maybe not wanting the drama, and so too many don't. It has become a trend. That said, the rare exceptions are decent people who may need jobs too and would be an asset on a job. Hiring should always involve studying the individual and also letting them know clearly what is required before hiring them IMHO. I worked in one hellish workplace for years & I only chose to stay in because they treated everyone equally badly and that made it better than a workplace where the so-called mothers were allowed to do as they please that I heard too much about.
ReplyDeleteEmployers need to stress that all employees have certain requirements and certain opportunities and parents will not be allowed to stomp all over other employees, using the fact that the children are already here as an excuse. The way to improve things is to INSIST that those who are childfree/childless/have grown children don't have to do the work of those who have small children and don't plan & organize their lives.
There should be NO MATERNITY LEAVE, only EMPLOYEE CHOICE LEAVE. My decision to see plays in New York and London while young enough to enjoy them is just as important as someone else staying home with their snot-nosed, always diseased brat. Given that this October there will be SEVEN BILLION PEOPLE on this planet, if we were going to treat any group preferentially it should be those who are giving Mother Nature a break.
-- "B."